Do you have crab mentality?
When was the last time you walked away from someone feeling sapped of energy and bogged down by their complaints or negativity?
Isn’t it the worst feeling?
For your sake I hope that it hasn’t been recent, however, if it has, I hope even more that it was out of the ordinary for you.
I’m a huge believer in the saying ‘you are the sum of the people around you’ and anytime I find myself in a situation like that, I’m like a little meerkat with my head darting around looking for the nearest exit! That sh*t rubs off on you.
My far greater preference is to leave a catch-up or conversation with a big smile on my face, a skip in my step and a brain full of thoughts about how incredible the person is and how uplifted I am feeling by our conversation. I certainly hope I leave other people feeling that way too! Imagine being the downer who leaves people feeling crappy? No, thank you!
Sadly, in the broader sense of society, it is normal to be that Negative Nancy.
In fact, and especially in Australian culture, it’s not cool to be upbeat and positive all the time. People take it as though you’re rubbing your ‘good fortune’ (which is actually a state of mind you have chosen, and probably work hard at each day) in their faces.
It turns out there are other parts of the world that suffer from this hideous affliction too, in the Philippines they refer to it as crab mentality.
True story: when you put a bunch of crabs in a pot of boiling water, as any one of them tries to escape, the others will literally pull it back in. Sometimes, in a sick and twisted way, they even wait until the escape artist is almost over the edge before grabbing it and dragging it back in. This process repeats itself until they’re all dead and cooked and served up on a platter. It’s basically an ‘if I can’t have it, neither can you’ phenomenon.
I think any of us would look at those crabs and think ‘you idiots’ and be cheering on the dude who was trying to get out (I’d even give him a helping hand – but hey, I’m a vegan!), yet in Australia our own version of this is rife.
Known as Tall Poppy Syndrome, Wikipedia defines it as:
“The tall poppy syndrome is a pejorative term primarily used to describe a social phenomenon in which people of genuine merit are resented, attacked, cut down, or criticised because their talents or achievements elevate them above or distinguish them from their peers.”
Read a little further along and it turns out the Chinese and Japanese have a saying, “The nail that stands out gets hammered down” so maybe it’s just a human condition.
We often refer to our WE community as a Community of Tall Poppies. To be honest we’ve been using the term less and less because some people gave us feedback that they didn’t want to be referred to as a ‘Tall Poppy’. It could come across as arrogant. It’s crazy, but we get it (and we love feedback!).
Irrespective of what we refer to ourselves as our community remains true to its cause.
We’re all about bringing together incredible people who are doing great things. They are passionate go-getters who want to make the very best out of their lives. WE provides them with an environment filled with people who will only ever uplift them, congratulate them and share the ride with them.
I am incredibly lucky in that all of the people in my life inspire me every. Single. Day.
They are positive people who are excited about life. I could be forgiven for forgetting that the rest of society really isn’t like that. These days I live in a bit of a bubble. A positive, happy bubble.
Don’t get me wrong, I have my bad days, as do all of the people I know. However, I think these Tall Poppies / Escape Artist Crabs / Standing Out Nails (!!!) handle the down times differently too. We take action, we work on the issue, we find solutions. We’re often meditators. We do whatever it is we need to do to grow through it, rather than to wallow in it.
So even though some of our members weren’t too sure about the Tall Poppy thing, we’ll still be throwing it around from time to time. Not everywhere and not always, but we’re actually damn proud of our Community of Tall Poppies! We don’t want to let the rest of the crabs drag us back into the water!
Take a minute to think about all of the people in your life, and how they inspire you.
Be deliberate with who you spend time with, and who you surround yourself with. If you happen to be a Debby Downer (you’ll know if you feel jealous or annoyed with people when they share their good news with you, or when you look at their pretty pictures on social media – you know who you are!) then try something for me.
For just one week, turn everything into a positive. Don’t dwell on anything negative that’s happening and use only positive language in conversations. It might just surprise you the changes that can occur in even such a short period of time.
On the other hand, if you’re a ‘Tall Poppy’ and interested in getting around great people, building and managing your wealth toward your goals, then contact us about joining the WE community today. We offer FREE Strategy Session to get you started.
Also, for existing members, if you know someone who’d make a great addition to the community, WE donate $250 to Project Future for every new member who is referred to us here. We make it nice and easy for you too.
Disclaimer: all information contained within this article is of a general nature. Do not rely upon it when making financial decisions. Please consult a professional financial advisor or planner (like us!) before acting.